This blog is dedicated to helping women and men who are struggling with the aftermath of being assaulted or raped. I am also here to answer questions anyone may have about rape or assault. Being a victim of rape myself, I don't want people to feel shame, or like they have to keep quiet. This is a shame free, hurt free place to come and talk for support. Don't feel shamed into silence. Hopefully this blog and my story will help some of you, as well as help me cope with this horrible crime. **I am not a trained legal advice giver. If you feel like you are in immediate danger call the cops.**

 

You’re going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it’s always their actions you should judge them by. It’s actions, not words, that matter.

 Nicholas SparksThe Rescue (via feellng)

(Source: feellng)

http://long-island-country-girl.tumblr.com/post/90564364599/one-day-im-gonna-have-a-husband-and-ill-trust

long-island-country-girl:

One day I’m gonna have a husband. And I’ll trust him enough to tell him every piece about what you both did to me.

One day I’m gonna have kids. And they too will know what you did to me, not to scare them from trusting people but to warn them that there are bad people out there, sometimes…

Update:

It’s been a very long time since I last posted, and so much stuff has been going on. I’m super active on my personal blog, I just haven’t came on here because of how triggered I been lately. But I’m getting better slowly through group and therapy and the support of my family and friends.

But heres whats been going on with me lately.

Frist of all I broke up with my boyfriend of a year, it was hard but looking back now that relationship wasn’t healthy. I jumped into it too quickly after my rape, hoping that someone else could fix the broken in me. All it did was break me further with how bad it was. I was verbally abused by his mother when I was visting, every time. I was slut shamed, and made to feel like an outcast. But I chose to stay because of my need to feel loved. I was lied too by that whole family, numerous times. So leaving was one of the healthiest choices I made since the rape. I’m happy now that I’m doing me and being a 20 year old. No more fights about shorts being too short, jeans being too tight, or for my want of going out to party.

I breifley dated a guy who turned out to be a pyscho. It was almost a month of dating, and all his skeletons came out of his crazy closest. First, he had a rape fantasy for the bedroom, scary. I had to tell him nurmerous times in bed that what he was saying or doing was triggering. He seemed annoyed when I would tell him. He knew that I was raped, but I never went into detail because of my fear he would get off on it or attempt to try and recreate it. He began to get on my nerves and I knew it was going to be over after he called me a cock tease for not wanting to have sex with him. We got into a fight and he ended up saying “lets not talk for 24 hours” I’m not the type of girl you pull that with, cause I will do what I want in those 24 hours. So I told him to just break up with me, after fighting that’s what happened. The next day we got into a fight and he tells me that he hopes im the next girl from my town to go missing, that he hopes I get raped and that hes glad TJ and the cop got away with everything. I was beyond hurt, but I’ll never ever let him know that. He can go fuck himself sideways for all I care. After that I decided that I’m taking a break from being in a serious, committed relationship for a while.

I got a letter from IAB and the findings of the investigation on the cop was inconclusive. So the cop didn’t get anything for what he told me. Which fucking hurts. They both got away with it.

I learned through a guy I was talking to that TJ was kicked out of the Fire Department because he was a real asshole. It was around the time of one year anniversary of my rape. Which makes sense because the cops had a hard time locating him, which would be easier if he wasn’t. A guy I went on a date with said that if hes thinking of the right guy, that he really is an asshole and something off. So theres that.

I told my mom that my cousin molested me for years, and she was heartbroken but so supportive. We’re going to tell my aunt at some point. We don’t talk about either incident but I feel like if I needed to, she’d let me. Which wasn’t the case earlier.

I’m still having a very hard time dealing with the fact that I was a victim twice, that my childhood was essentially stolen from me. And that both of my attackers got away with it. But I’m working through it the best way I can, going to group, taking care of myself, and by talking when I need to. I’m not gonna be silent anymore.

I been having a really hard time coping with the fact that my repressed memory of being molested as a child surfaced. I hate my “cousin” more than anything.

The one person whos close to being considered family that I felt comfortable enough to tell had the balls to fucking tell me that it was “two kids playing” uh no. It lasted until I was at least 10. I don’t know how to fully cope with this.

I feel gross. I was a victim twice. Why me?

swordofomens:

bitterherbs:

And guys, I promise you. They will never say a word to you, but they will never fully trust you again.

In the back of their heads, most of my female friends have a list of people they can talk to about traumatic stuff. If you have ever made those jokes, talked about people deserving the bad things that happen to them, or uttered the words, “aw, come on, don’t be that way” about a woman’s boundaries, then you are not on the safe list.

swordofomens:

bitterherbs:

And guys, I promise you. They will never say a word to you, but they will never fully trust you again.

In the back of their heads, most of my female friends have a list of people they can talk to about traumatic stuff. If you have ever made those jokes, talked about people deserving the bad things that happen to them, or uttered the words, “aw, come on, don’t be that way” about a woman’s boundaries, then you are not on the safe list.

(Source: kathleenthearsonist)

I fight Rape Culture because
When I told my ex boyfriend about my rape
He ‘forgave’ me.

I fight Rape Culture because
I saw my baby sister age overnight
As she told me about her best friend getting molested.

I fight Rape Culture because
My closest friend was abused as a child
And he told nobody but me.
It took him 13 years to open up.

I fight Rape Culture because
My friends admit to letting their partners fuck them when they don’t want it
Then laugh it off as typical male behaviour.

I fight Rape Culture because
Saying that you’re raping someone is perfectly acceptable
If you’re playing a video game.

I fight Rape Culture because
Men tell me they are insulted when women walking in front of them start to walk faster.
As if their ego is more important than our safety.

I fight Rape Culture because
If I tell somebody their rape joke isn’t funny
I am told that I’m uptight.

I fight Rape Culture because
It won’t die out
Unless we kill it ourselves.

I Fight Rape Culture
Lomticks-of-toast.tumblr.com (via lomticks-of-toast)

Every sunrise is a reminder that our God is a God who gives new beginnings, beautiful moments, and limitless possibilities.

(via thegreathope)

immistermeeseekslookatme:

When we come together to , we can help create a safer world for men and women, boys and girls.  (x)

Can we all just take a second to appreciate what a badass Mariska Hargitay is?

(Source: fuckyeahmeganhilty)

metaphoricalanchor:

alright listen

just because you dont break skin or use a razor doesnt mean it cant be self harm

just because they never hit you doesnt mean it cant be an abusive relationship

just because you can communicate in some circles doesnt mean you cant have anxiety or socializing issues

just because you have a good day doesnt mean you cant have depression

Do not let your perception of how your struggle should be silence you. Your problems are real and they deserve attention.

(Source: nonchalantcroissant)

emmaphorisms:

a seventeen magazine article this month actually truly says stuff reassuring girls that “not all feminists are hairy” and “don’t worry, feminism isn’t a movement, you don’t have to do anything crazy, it’s totally PERSONAL”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

please tell girls it IS a movement, a movement that will love and accept them, a movement that has paved the way for their success! tell them they CAN BE HAIRY!!! GIRLS ARE HAIRY! They can stay that way!!!

(Source: emmaphorismz)